Becoming a Mama: Birth Story
My story is not your typical girl meets boy, fall in love, get married, and have children. We do not have the all-american love story. Far from it actually, but it works for us. We met, spent some time together, and three months later found out we were pregnant; Surprise! So, maybe it was a tad more serious than “spending time together” but you get the idea. We didn't have a care in the world and had no idea what we were about to get ourselves into. We decided to embrace this journey and began planning. We bought our first house and filled it with diapers, wipes, toys, etc. I read baby books cover to cover. I was ready, or so I thought. There are two things that I did not research that would cause me a lot of stress down the road. The two most "natural" parts of this whole ordeal, the birth and breastfeeding. I hadn't a clue.
The Birth I just assumed, well the baby has to come out somehow, right? There are so many ways this can go down and it affects you physically and emotionally. It wasn't until after my first child and during my second pregnancy that I really appreciated this concept.
Breastfeeding Breastfeeding. Is. Hard. Maybe not for everyone, but most will experience some level of difficulty. I will say that breastfeeding is a natural occurrence, sure. Our bodies were created to make milk and nourish our baby’s body. With that being said, that does not mean it comes naturally to either mama or baby. Some people have issues producing milk, especially if there is a c-section or trauma involved. Some babies have terrible latches and cause the mom serious injury to her nipples, which in turn, causes her to either not want to nurse or delays milk production. Diet and hydration play a huge role in how well you produce milk. This is the part that I did not understand until it was way too late.
My Birth Story - Introducing "Mr.Feefs" I would consider my birth story to be a happy one, my son was delivered earth side, healthy. However, I wasn't prepared for the journey so I left the hospital feeling a little out of sorts. I went in to be induced and ended with a C-section for “failure to progress”. Unfortunately when you start medical interventions, your risk of C-section increases. I may have known that, had I done any research at all. Being put on Pitocin is no joke. My contractions came fast and heavy and I needed an epidural around 4-5cm. I felt the urge to push way before I was fully dilated and this caused my cervix to swell. Once the swelling started, he wasn't coming out that way.. Not anymore. They prepped us for surgery and we were off, 45 min later had a sweet baby boy 7lbs 11oz.
Breastfeeding did not start well for us. He wouldn't latch and the nurses were concerned. The lactation consultants came in and made me crazy. They were tugging at my boobs and in my face. I couldn't stand it and I definitely could not stand them. I know looking back, they were just trying to help. But, as a new exhausted mother, I just wanted to be left the hell alone. We finally went home and I continued to try and nurse my son. I remember the day we called it quits. I was sitting on the couch, hooked up to my pump like Bessie the Cow, and my husband walks in to me crying. I had pumped maybe a few millileters and most of that was blood. It was disgusting. Finally, in that vulnerable moment I heard the words that I so desperately needed to hear. My husband looked at me and said “I think it's time to give him formula.” I didn't want to give up because I “knew” breastmilk was the best option and I felt like a failure. Most importantly I didn't want to let my husband down. His son wasn't going to get breast milk and I felt like it was my fault. When he told me it was okay and everything would be okay, a heavy weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I began to enjoy motherhood.
I knew that my next pregnancy/delivery would be different and it was.